I met my wife in the flesh in the spring of 2001. That was a strange year and one that for some reason seemed always predestined to be so. For people of my generation it seemed like the future. We’d always envisaged living in space by that time or at the very least large black monoliths on the moon. 2001 seemed like it would never really happen, even in the run up to it. All that hubbub about the y2k virus crashing all the electronic systems in the world… Seems so juvenile now.

I remember seeing the eclipse that never really was in 1999 and thinking that year was crazy. Everyone was partying like it was that year then 2000 came, nothing blew up and there was a kind of anti climax when we entered 2001. The computers hadn’t broken down or turned against us, nothing had blown up… Yet.

Granted there was a sense of growing promise. There was a seed of having made it that far and therefore anything might be possible. Just maybe there would be colonies in space. Ok, so they’d be a little late for the party but we’d get there. Maybe we could all get along and wars would end. Maybe a decent president would take over in the U.S. Maybe maybe maybe
And then something did blow up. So many things blew up.

And it all ended. Everything.

All the hope – all the maybes – all the possibilities for a better future.

It was gone. A chain of events had led to a cataclysm in time and everything changed.
The thousands of deaths didn’t do it. The media images beamed around the world on the burgeoning internet didn’t do it. The fear didn’t do it.

Those were symptoms. Something had shifted. Something had been removed suddenly like a massive bandaid being ripped from an open wound. Something had gone wrong that should never have happened and an innocence – some might say ignorance – was lost.

We are now children of a new world. And our children. Oh my…

I was on a plane with my new wife just a month after it happened. We flew the same airline in the same direction as the killers. We were so scared. We didn’t want to have just found each other to then lose each other so soon to what everyone feared would be a string of copycat events.

But it didn’t happen. We are still here and it’s further into the future I could never fathom as a child. It’s 2016 and we’ve been married fifteen years. We live in a very different world to the one I knew.

A few years back, watching an ice skating competition show doing a retro 1984 theme we both were seeing what a very strange and alien world that was. 2001 was never the alien future. I should have realised at the time. The past is alien. When you step over the chasm which was 2001 you have said goodbye to an alien world which you never knew you lived in. Our son, seven at the time, commented that 1984 seemed a very nice time. Yes it was and yet we lived with threat of nuclear holocaust, war around the world and prejudice and inequality everywhere. We were striving for a better world and look where we are.

We’ll never forget 9/11 – we can’t. It was the endgame of the creation of our current world.

My thoughts and love go out to those who were involved.

15 years ❤



A Short Blog on Biology

Here is a fact:

Those who were biologically born with male bodies just do not have to deal with the bizarre and extreme things as those who were biologically born with female bodies.

In my mis-spent youth I have overheard, in dingy grotty Southend pubs, men with a full week’s stubble on their otherwise bald heads, threaten other men saying “You’ll be pissing blood tomorrow mate!”

I have to admit if I were passing blood when I used the lavatory, I would be concerned.

But, those with female bodies, no matter what gender they identify as, have to deal with passing blood from before they hit their teens, most commonly.

If you have that connection with the earthy and gory reality of human life from such an early age, it must affect you.  These people are strong in a way that the swarthy oaf I recall from my younger days couldn’t possibly understand.

The female body was made to create and hold life – the sloughing process that follows the monthly cycles (28 day cycle if they’re lucky, 10 day cycle if they’re not…) is a constant reminder that we are fragile and wet beings.  We are connected to a very visceral life on a planet of other people.

The process is also rather upsetting to wake up to.  That first trip to the bathroom isn’t just a scratching-your-privates-and-releasing-your-gasses walk of sleepiness.  It’s a horror show.

Think also of the poor little ones who meet their first period without forewarning or very little preparation and how it seems to them.  What a pivotal shaking moment that is in their lives.

So this is just a little call out to those of you who are strong, and have to deal with that stuff all the time.  You’re powerful, you’re continuing the human race, you’re loved.

Well done.

And you oafs, who haven’t considered this before… go find someone buying their sanitary products and shake them by the hand for the enormous amount of biological hardship they go through which you don’t.

You don’t even have to keep shaving your heads…